


Mostly HarmWhat?

by Proudtobeatheatrekid



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-20
Updated: 2013-12-20
Packaged: 2018-01-05 06:17:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1090617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Proudtobeatheatrekid/pseuds/Proudtobeatheatrekid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amy finds the Encyclopedia Galactica in the library. The Doctor knows Ford. WHAT IS GOING ON?<br/>Originally posted on ff.net</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mostly HarmWhat?

"Doctor," said a voice.

"Not just now, Amy! I'm fixing the TARDIS!" came another voice from beneath the console.

"Again?"

"Yes, again! Is there a problem?" asked the Doctor impatiently.

"I found the library."

"And…?"

"There are some weird books. You're going to tell me about them. Namely, why did you never tell me that there's an encyclopedia for the galaxy? I could have understood so much more!"

"Are you talking about the _Encyclopedia Galactica_?"

"Yes!" chided Amy.

"Oh, that. Well, I didn't tell you about it because I don't use it."

"Well, you could have told me-"

"No, no, Amy. I use the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy. Used it ever since I met Ford. Interesting man. Wrote the entry on earth, which isn't that great, but can't complain!"

"Where is this _'Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy'_ then?" asked Amy after a brief interruption of wires continuously sparking in a chain reaction.

"Now, THAT is the problem. I haven't been able to find it ever since- oh, never mind."

"Since when, exactly?"

"Well since… Since… I suppose I must've dropped it somewhere. Let's go visit Ford!"

"Ford is…?"

"Well, I think he's on earth!"

"Oh, good. Earth."

The TARDIS landed in front of a small house near Cottington. Amy stepped out of the TARDIS, reveling in the slightly grey sky which didn't seem to bother the birds, who were chirping away in the lone tree on the overgrown lawn. The doctor followed her out and immediately laughed. She followed his gaze and saw a Toyota parked just beyond the picket fence.

"Ford?" called the Doctor.

A look of comprehension dawned on Amy's face and she hissed, "So his name is Ford but he has a Toyota?"

The Doctor shot her a glance that said, 'shut up, we'll laugh later,' just as an oddly disheveled man appeared out of the kitchen, holding a towel, and said, "Doctor? Is that you?"

"Ford!" exclaimed the doctor, and they proceeded to perform an extremely odd handshake which somehow involved both of them ending up on their heads. "Do you have an extra copy of the guide, by any chance?"

"I only have the one, I'm afraid. Don't you have your own?"

"I can't seem to find it."

"Did you check the library, by any chance?"

A look of understanding dawned on the doctor's face and he disappeared into the TARDIS, leaving Ford and Amy standing confused.

"He always forgets about the library." commented Ford, triggering a silence.

"I'm Amy." Says Amy, "Human." She adds, due to a strange inkling that he wasn't.

"Ford Prefect. I'm from a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse." Ford off-handedly commented, beginning to glance up before catching himself.

At this point, the Doctor burst out of the TARDIS doors, childishly excited. "I found it! Ford, you're a-" he then glanced between Ford and Amy seemingly trying to decide which one to scold first. "No, Amy. Don't flirt with a man from Betelgeuse. One of the fundamental laws of the galaxy."

"Sounds like your companion could learn a lot from the guide." Commented Ford, winking slyly at the doctor.

"Ah, yes. Amy, go back into the TARDIS. Here's the guide. Explore." instructed the doctor, trying to rotate Amy towards the TARDIS and push her in.

"But-" Amy protested, resisting the Doctor's attempts to manipulate her.

"The Doctor and I are going to talk alien now!" Ford told Amy condescendingly.

Amy, after a moment of gaping at ford, stuck out her tongue and dejectedly marched back into the TARDIS. At the last minute, she turned back and said to Ford "by the way, you might want to finish washing your towel. There are soap suds all over." and then she closed the TARDIS door. Ford Prefect was left staring, surprised, at his towel.

After the Doctor saw the door close, he turned to Ford. "Now, Ford, what are you doing still on earth?"

"Well, I can't get off, can I?" remarked Ford, disregarding the sudsy towel, "No one's come by!"

"Ford… May I see your thumb?"

"You mean the sub-etha one? 'Course, here." Ford fumbled around in his satchel and eventually pulled out a cylindrical blinking device, which he handed to the doctor. Once it got to the doctors hands, it immediately began to be probed by the doctor's sonic screwdriver, the Doctor's face not far away, looking concerned.

The Doctor seemed to be focusing a bit too much, and thus started a bit when Ford called his attention back, saying "What are you doing?"

"Diagnosing. Because, Ford, there have been a ton of spaceships around earth. Especially over the lord's cricket ground. Aha! Got it. Just let me… there you go. Good as new! Have fun with that!" and the doctor jumped back into the TARDIS.

"Wait," Ford began as he heard a whirring, "Doctor, could I-" the whirring noise continued, "-hitch a lift with you…" But the TARDIS was gone. All that remained was a couple more whirs for good measure. "course not. That'd be too easy. I'll just use the thumb. It… wait… VOGONS?" Ford looked up at the sky. "Oh no."


End file.
